Garden trolls, help please?

oh no, I was just digging up the garden and, like out of nothing, a ugly little troll jumped at me. It's about a meter high, with skin that looks like one large wart, it has pointed ears and a really nasty smirk. I managed to grab it by the feet, dragged it into the shed and put it in an old wooden box, on which I am sitting now. I can hear it screeching and grunting in there.

This is very uncomfortable and probably it needs air and water some time. What is the proper procedure to deal with a troll? And could there be more??

Garden trolls, help please?
There's probably a thousand and one old wive's tales on how to get rid of garden trolls. Some say plant invasive things like peppermint or lemon balm, whose roots will suffocate out the trolls. Some say sprinkle sugar and spice and everything nice all around, but this just usually only serves to attract bees and ants, and you end up with a worse problem and a lost picnic basket.



The only tried and true method I know of is to combat garden trolls with garden gnomes. Gnomes are both environmentally friendly and pleasing aesethically, and there is no danger in using them. As you have subterranian trolls, I would recommend getting a gnome with a shovel, as gnomes are not very good diggers on their own. Depending on your current troll infestation, you may also want to look for arbourist gnomes to protect any trees in the area.



As for the captive troll, offer him a piece of cinnamon toast and some orange juice. This will sweeten him up for the short term until you can get a gnome to help.



Good luck.
Reply:Better let him out to go free unless you want to wake up tomorrow with your butt covered with the same uglywarts you see on his ugly face and better stay out of the garden until the sun goes down, Trolls are not the same as gnomes you know.
Reply:Are you freakin serious... nail the box shut and empty two ak47 clips into it ... burn the box and re-bury it