I am looking for a good small dog breed suitable for me. It will need to be small, does not shed all year round (no shedding or shedding twice a year, although we don't want poodles or bichons or other breeds that need clipping every 6-8 weeks) we have a large garden and live very near to a park and although we have the right facilities for a large dog, my mum only wants a little dog. In my family, there is a 11 yr old animal loving girl who adores animals and is very calm and will always be gentle with dogs, no matter how small they are.
please decide on a breed we can get! we have been thinking, and want one that is not very rare, as we live in Hemel Hempstead (when buncefield exploded) and there are not many breeders of rare breeds. We are thinkning that Chihuahuas and Yorkies are a good choice for us. would this be ok? by the way, whatever dog breed we get, it will be a female.
Which dog breed for me?
Chinese Cresteds have NO fur except on their heads and feet, and they are not that rare anymore. It will need its skin cleaned and moisturized, and it will need protection from the sun and cold.
Reply:why not get a westhigland terrier they are verry friendly and good company
Reply:Westies are hardy terriers - about 15 lbs
They do require grooming and haircuts - but not specialty cuts.
Or maybe a Miniature Schnauzer
Yorkies would be alright too - they require about the same amount of grooming and haircuts as the Westie
Chihuahua might be okay - a little small for a child to really play with though.
All dogs shed btw....especially the short-haired ones that don't require haircuts
Reply:Hamster
Reply:I think a minature dachshund is perfect for you! I have one myself and they are adorable! They have the best personalities and are really good with all kinds of people just not super little kids. You need to be careful with their back though since its so long. Thats why they arent good with little kids because they tend to drop them. But an 11 year old will be fine in fact im 13!
Reply:Here's the thing - dogs either shed - even short-haired dogs, or they are low shedding and need regular grooming. Of the two you mentioned as your top choices, a short-haired chihuahua is probably the better choice. Yorkies will need regular grooming - by you or a groomer as their coats do get long. A short coated chihuahua is too small to shed much and brushing and bathing is easily done by you.
Reply:get a little poodle
Reply:Try a beagle, they're nice dogs, though keep in mind they aren't easy to train and bark. Aside from that they're good family dogs(good with kids).
Yorkies are good dogs too but they're kinda expensive. Pugs are also a good breed though they do snore due to their 'smashed in' nose.
Reply:hiya, i'm originally from Hemel too!! now in Abbots. When we were kids we used to have a scottish terrier - it was the most loving animal ever!!
If you look on petplanet, they have a quiz that tells you what breed is best for you and yr family.
http://www.petplanet.co.uk/select_a_bree...
good luck!
Reply:i would go fora whippet. they ahve very fine coats they shed very little and they are lovely dogs. They need really good recall training but other than that they make great family pets. Be sure they ahve a nice warm coat for the winter and never tug on their neck. they are very delicate. They are fairly easy to get hold of and they live in an urban environment very easily
Reply:There are allot of dog breeds that fit in what you are describing. One is the basenji: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basenji
Another is the the Maltese:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maltese_%28...
Yorkshire Terriers are small, but there filled with energy and very playful: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yorkshire_T...
Bedlington terriers need to be professionally groomed about every 3-4 months. They are often described as a "lamb" on a leash: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bedlington_...
If you are looking to adopt, visit http://petfinder.com/ to find a local shelter or pound with the right dog or cat for you.
Reply:How about a Teddy Beat puppy? I'm not sure if they shed or not you would have to look them up. But they are small and get along great with kids. Or A labordoodle. It sounds weird but the DON'T shed at all but I don't remember how big they get. Good luck!
Reply:I would reccommend a mix between a chihuahua and aYorkie. I found a great breeder..www,teacupangels.net . They are absolutely adorable and you will fall in love. This mix has the best of both breeds and everyone with love her..and thats a promise!....I have one and she is just the light of my life..except for my fiance...he thinks! Good Luck!
Reply:i can't recommend a breed that wont shed at some time, a yorkie will need grooming every 3 to 4 months, Chihuahua's are good, short haired, but they do shed also, as a grooomer i get all breeds in and they all shed at some stage, also dogs who are in doors shed more often as central heating has an affect on coats.
Reply:don't get a dog!!!!! you are asking the impossible unless you get a Mexican hairless, even they have hair on their heads, all dogs either moult,or need to go to the dog groomers every 6-8 weeks to keep their coats in good condition. Why don't you see if any of your freinds or neighbours would like their dog walked by you a couple of times a week?
Reply:Hmm...I'm thinking Staffy (Staffordshire Bull Terrier). They're not incredibly small, nor incredibly large. They shed very little - in fact they're considered a "non-shedding breed", even though no dog is truly "non" shedding.
Female Staffy's are adorable! They look feminine and pristine. I searched these up to see if they were low shedding, because I really think that an 11 year old should have a playful puppy, rather than a show-dog pup. I'm considering getting a staffy, as I am going to have to get rid of my other doggy.
Oh, here's a few pictures of Staffys
Full Grown Female Staffy(s);
http://www.alsager-animals.co.uk/images/...
http://www.stefanrest.com/images/staffy_...
Cute Puppy Staffy(s);
http://www.pupcity.com/images/adpics/060...
http://bulldogbreeds.com/breeders/pics/s...
But even though they're adorable, they have very strong jaws/mouths. So as puppies, you'll have to beware, and teach them young that biting people/house items is "no no" but biting toys is ok.
Hope you get a wonderful dog!
EDIT **** I tried the pics, and they don't load on my computer...If they don't on yours either, go to http://images.google.com/images?svnum=10... , which is the page that I got the pics off. (PS; there's a picture at the bottom of a lady w/ a bikini on, by a christmas tree?? dunno why that's there but.. lol!)
Reply:I would say an westie or an jack russel or an staffordshire bull terrior!. I no what your thinking OH NOO IT WILL BE NASTY AN BITE AND ALL SORTS BUT THATS NO THE CASE!.
Staffys ( for short) are brill dogs to have for an begginer and for the more experienced they are VERY docial and it does take alot for them to snap!. You're more than likely if you pulled an chiuahha cheeks to get bit by them than an staffy. They have very little nerves in there coat so there perfect for young children as they could pull ther skin all day long and they not feel hardly anything, they have thick skin as they were bred for fighting but they are very docile compared to say an terrior and have only one shed an year!. OR my other thought thats just came into my head is an Beagle!
Reply:you could get a dauchund or a welsh corgi.
Reply:HMmm that is a tough one have you checked the designer breeds some of them may be what you are looking for. this is a good question. I guess if you can find a naked dog that would work. But i don'tthink i ever seen one of those.
Reply:I have a female Boston Terrier. She's great inside and outside. She is wonderful on a leash. She can be calm or can by playful...depends on my mood. She is very loyal. She is probably the most loyal dog I've ever owned.
Reply:While I think it is a good idea to consider grooming and size when finding the perfect breed of dog for your family, the main reason animals get turned into shelters and rescues is that the dogs temperament/breed traits did not match with that family.
Traits and temperament is usually MUCH more important than size or grooming.
For example: Terriers tend to need lots of exercise and can become destructive and barky when left in small apartments for extended periods of time.
Great Danes on the other hand often do well in apartments and small spaces because they usually do not require as much exercise and often enjoy just lazing around the house.
There is no dog breed that doesn't shed and also doesn't require frequent hair cuts. It is going to shed or need a routine clipping, there is just no way around that. Shedding can be different from breed to breed and it is certainly something to consider depending on if you want to have to vacuum daily or schedule appointments with a groomer and take your dog in to be clipped.
Reply:For Dog Breeders, I would recommend
http://www.buysellpuppies.com
Reply:Yorkshire Terriers are quite fragile, and their coats need regular grooming, the show dogs you see have their coats tied up to stop them knotting and splitting, so most pet people tend to have them clipped. Chihuahuas again are small and fragile and I think you need something a bit more substantial for a child to take a walk. Tibetan Terriers, dont moult, and although will need clipping, perhaps only every six months. Fantastic dogs, not too small, but not a big dog, wonderful temperaments, and a lovely character
http://www.thekennelclub.org.uk/item/176
or a Basset Griffon Vandeem
http://www.thekennelclub.org.uk/item/12
same applies as the Tibetan Terrier
Reply:I advise you to get a pug. They are very playful, loving, and great with kids. They do shed, but only twice a year and need no grooming. They do have eye problems at times because they are buggy like gold fish eyes, but they are so darn cute when they grow out of their awkward baby stage. Good luck.
Reply:Boston Terrier
Reply:jack russel terriers--not too small..and moderate to no shedding at all, great watch dog for your family, and you can probably find it anywhere...its not one of those rare rocket science breed
Reply:I think you are looking for......
A TORTOISE !
Reply:if u like poodle i would get a small dog like a poodle or a Yorkshire terrier???????????????????????? like u said your very very calm with dogs u could get a big on?????
Reply:German shepherd
Reply:Peraonally I love ,love love Pomeranians..they are very good with kids ,other dogs and people...comtrary to popular belief..it is all in there training.They don't shed hardly at if you brush them out 1 time a week and as far as grooming all they really need is a bath 1 or 2 times a month trim around there feet,pads and ears and a good brushing once a week.Thats it...not the really small ones though you should look for around the 10-13lb ones.I breed them and have lots of experience with them.I fyou are interested then let me know and I will be happy to help.Mine are trained,housebroken,and come with papaers.Kristin Pomrcrazylady
Reply:A Chinese Crested, no hair problem solved. Nothing wrong with a Chihuahua, Yorkies are very difficult to housebreak. Either way all dogs shed but short haired dogs don't require much in the way of grooming, Yorkies need grooming as they hair does get long. Whatever dog you decide on research the breed FIRST so you know what you're getting yourself into.
rain roots
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Is it cruel, to keep a rabbit, in a hutch?
I have a rabbit and he is about 4-5. He has lived in a hutch, but.. since then, my mum decided, it would be much better for him, to have the small shed, that we have. So, he now has his hutch.. inside the hedge and also the rest of the shed, too! :)
We have put loads of little toy rabbit balls in, for him and a big rock, that he can climb on and treats. He also has a toy carrot, which he seems quite attached to! He keeps carrying it around.
My mum told me, that she thought leaving it in a hutch, was cruel and thought it was about time, we let him have more space and seeing him running about, makes me feel happy and I get to see him more. We have put this fire grate, around the door, so we can have the door of the shed open for the day and at night, we close it.. so he is safe.
We also let him wander around the garden, to explore.
He tends to have fur loss, though. Is this normal for rabbits? The vets said he was fine. He is black, so you can notice it, easily.
Is it cruel, to keep a rabbit, in a hutch?
My rabbit lives in a hutch, but he loves to get out! I think that as long as your shed is safe for him (as in nothing poisonous or harmful that he can chew, no way he can hurt himself and no way cats or other animals can get in to hurt him), he should be fine.
I've heard that rabbits get heat stroke though, so look out for him in the summers.
Reply:hi
keeping a rabbit in a huch is a little cruel but if you let him out in your backyard like i do, its fine.(=
Reply:Keeping a rabbit in a hutch is not cruel as long as they have plenty of exercise time during the day. If you consider the wild lifestyle of a rabbit they spend much of their time asleep underground. Whilst you will see your bunny playing happily you will also notice he sleeps in the same spot an awful lot!
I have house bunnies and believe you miss so much of a rabbit personality when they are simply living in a hutch down the garden. They are very active, strong individuals and surprisingly playful. Anything that can be picked up and thrown about (like his carrot toy) is bound to be a favourite. They are also keen on climbing so a ramp to the roof of his hutch or a large log to sit on would be welcomed. Why not look around your pet store for some toys, as people become more aware of how bright these little animals are they are bringing more and more great products onto the market.
Kally
Reply:well what i have is a hutch attached onto a run so the rabbit can go in and out of the hutch and run around. this is really good for your rabbit and i think you should do this. it is quite cruel to have a rabbit hutched up all the time and not been able to taste the grass and have a run around. especially in summer where the rabbit might get to warm. the rabbit also needs exercise so i think it is time you get a run for your lovely rabbit. there not expensive secend hand. i got mine for ￡10. it is 2 meters long and 1 meter wide. so my rabbit can my guinea pigs can enjoy a lovely summer day and get some well deserved exercise
also it is normal fur loss. my rabbit makes a nest for her and her guinea pig companion in winter to keep them selves warm, it is a mixture of hay and a hell of a of fur.
hope i helped
danni...%26lt;3...x
Reply:I have a 10 year old bunny, who runs free in a small yard with two dogs, (chiwawas). He acts and plays just like the dogs, and is very tame and loving. The dogs are very attached to him and vise verse. He sleeps in his hutch at night, to protect him from predators, but I think he's had such a long and healthy life from being free to roam. Pulling their fur out is normal, they would nest with it if in the wild, and they will sometimes plug a drafty hole in their hutch with fur.
We have put loads of little toy rabbit balls in, for him and a big rock, that he can climb on and treats. He also has a toy carrot, which he seems quite attached to! He keeps carrying it around.
My mum told me, that she thought leaving it in a hutch, was cruel and thought it was about time, we let him have more space and seeing him running about, makes me feel happy and I get to see him more. We have put this fire grate, around the door, so we can have the door of the shed open for the day and at night, we close it.. so he is safe.
We also let him wander around the garden, to explore.
He tends to have fur loss, though. Is this normal for rabbits? The vets said he was fine. He is black, so you can notice it, easily.
Is it cruel, to keep a rabbit, in a hutch?
My rabbit lives in a hutch, but he loves to get out! I think that as long as your shed is safe for him (as in nothing poisonous or harmful that he can chew, no way he can hurt himself and no way cats or other animals can get in to hurt him), he should be fine.
I've heard that rabbits get heat stroke though, so look out for him in the summers.
Reply:hi
keeping a rabbit in a huch is a little cruel but if you let him out in your backyard like i do, its fine.(=
Reply:Keeping a rabbit in a hutch is not cruel as long as they have plenty of exercise time during the day. If you consider the wild lifestyle of a rabbit they spend much of their time asleep underground. Whilst you will see your bunny playing happily you will also notice he sleeps in the same spot an awful lot!
I have house bunnies and believe you miss so much of a rabbit personality when they are simply living in a hutch down the garden. They are very active, strong individuals and surprisingly playful. Anything that can be picked up and thrown about (like his carrot toy) is bound to be a favourite. They are also keen on climbing so a ramp to the roof of his hutch or a large log to sit on would be welcomed. Why not look around your pet store for some toys, as people become more aware of how bright these little animals are they are bringing more and more great products onto the market.
Kally
Reply:well what i have is a hutch attached onto a run so the rabbit can go in and out of the hutch and run around. this is really good for your rabbit and i think you should do this. it is quite cruel to have a rabbit hutched up all the time and not been able to taste the grass and have a run around. especially in summer where the rabbit might get to warm. the rabbit also needs exercise so i think it is time you get a run for your lovely rabbit. there not expensive secend hand. i got mine for ￡10. it is 2 meters long and 1 meter wide. so my rabbit can my guinea pigs can enjoy a lovely summer day and get some well deserved exercise
also it is normal fur loss. my rabbit makes a nest for her and her guinea pig companion in winter to keep them selves warm, it is a mixture of hay and a hell of a of fur.
hope i helped
danni...%26lt;3...x
Reply:I have a 10 year old bunny, who runs free in a small yard with two dogs, (chiwawas). He acts and plays just like the dogs, and is very tame and loving. The dogs are very attached to him and vise verse. He sleeps in his hutch at night, to protect him from predators, but I think he's had such a long and healthy life from being free to roam. Pulling their fur out is normal, they would nest with it if in the wild, and they will sometimes plug a drafty hole in their hutch with fur.
Can anybody correct this text in english?
Feel free to change words or sentences
I was passing a really ugly period of my life, now to live seemed to me useless, what had happened to me in the last times was for me something unbearable, ugly, it was destroying me. All the people near to me were worried for my health: I didn't go out, I didn't eat and I was in a perennial confusional condition.
To try to improve my situation my best friend proposed me to make a vacation lodging for a week in her vacations house, a delicious cottage placed near a lake, in an isolated and completely uninhabited zone during that period of the year. I accepted only for doing her happy, honestly I didn't see anything of profit.
Of the first days I don't almost remember anything... I was touching the apex of my desperation, the only things that I remember were that I often stopped watching the lake, sitting on a bench situated in the garden of the residence, observing what surrounded me, reflecting on the cruelty of the life shedding litres of tears. They have been ugly and difficult days, but suddenly something very strange happened to me, something that could not be explained. A morning, in fact, I oddly woke up happy, all of my worries and my problems were suddenly faded away, disappeared out of my mind. I didn't succeed to explain this phenomenon; everything was so perfect, after so much time I felt reborn. It was a very beautiful day, the sun shone in the sky and I immediately ran in that garden that for days was the place of my desperation. I had never seen anything so beautiful, I saw everything with different eyes, I found the peace.
My beautiful reflections been interrupted by the presence of a young man that could not have more than twenty-seven years. He wore fisherman clothes, but he was not fishing, he was observing the blue sky sitting in the green lawn of an house near my cottage. I had never seen him before, additionally I knew that nobody lived those zones during that period of the year. He turned to me and, when he realized that I was looking at him, he made me a sign with his arm, and I responded to the waving. He immediately came to me astonished, and he started quickly to walk in my direction.
"Hi! - he told me smiling when he was close to me - How are you? ".
I said that everything was alright and when I asked the same question he interrupted me saying: "Don't you see how much beautiful is here? It seems like an heaven, it is so hard to believe that before I detested it. I worked here, I was a fisherman, but now I live here, and I see this place with different eyes.". I was spellbound for his words, he was describing what I was feeling. It almost seemed that the place had something magic, everything was changed.
“When have you arrived here? This morning?”, I asked him, “Me? No, it’s a long time that I don't move from this lake.”. I was surprised: ” I have never seen you before!.”
“I know it yet…” he answered me with a smile.
We stayed the whole day chatting, the hours passed happily and I talked about myself, and about the reasons that make me need to isolate myself in that earthly paradise and how suddenly everything changed in me. His company was very pleasant, even thought he didn't speak a lot about himself; it seemed like if that lake was his only reality. The following day passed in the same way. In the evening, while I was preparing me to assist to the amazing sunset on the lake, the telephone rang. Who could he be? By now it was a long time that I was there, and nobody had ever looked for me. I answered and on the other side of the telephone I heard her voice: ?Hello?!. it was her, Sarah, my friend that wanted to know how I was. ?Hi Sarah! -I answered happy – How are you?" , but she kept on repeating ‘hello’ and to say that she didn't hear me. So I had to hang up, but it made me feel a little bit, because I really wished to talk with her. The following day the scene repeated again various times and I noted that her voice became always more anxious and worried. I was sorry for her, I also tried to phone her back, but the thing worsened the situation. I thought a lot about these facts, and I often wondered what Sarah could think, I didn't want to make her stress. The day after I waited for her phone call, but it didn't arrive. I was asking me why she had not called me yet when I heard the house door opening downstairs. I leaned out from the staircases and I saw her… it was Sarah; she came to visit me. "Hi Sarah! " I shouted happily, but she didn't hear me, and she started to wander around the rooms in sorrowful way. "Hey Sara! " I repeated more times, but her… nothing; she moved in a nervous way, but when she went down the staircases to go in the basement I heard a cry of terror! "What is happened to you? " I howled frightened. I ran toward the basement, she was there, on the steps, paralyzed, immovable, trembling... When she fell down crying, I succeeded to see what shocked her. While Sarah stammered "Why have you done it?!" I saw it, but I couldn’t understand immediately … Why my lifeless body was there?
Can anybody correct this text in english?
I like your touching story. Good use of language and an interesting tale make your essay an easy read.
English is such a complex language. A lot of simple expressions use similes to the words you have chosen. Eg. apex of desperation is correct but peak of despair probably would be more common to read. Close friends intimates emotional closeness whilst near friends suggest physical closeness. This is a similar situation with vacation house and holiday house. Vacation and holiday are synonyms but holiday house or home is the expression commonly used. Conversation are usually started in a new paragraph and usually two spaces are inserted after a period (full stop).
I was going through a really ugly period in my life; life seemed pointless. Lately something had happened that was unbearable and I felt as though it was destroying me. All the people closest to me were worried for my health. I didn't go out; I didn't eat and I was was feeling perennially confused.
To try to improve my situation my best friend proposed that I take a week's vacation in her holiday house, a delicious cottage placed near a lake, isolated and completely uninhabited during that time of the year. I accepted only to make her happy. I honestly couldn't see any benefit for me..
For the first days of my stay at Sarah's lake house, I remember hardly anything... I was reaching the peak of my despair. All that I remember is that I often stopped to look at the lake, sitting on a bench situated in the garden, observing my surroundings and reflecting on the cruelty of the life, and shedding litres of tears.
There have been ugly and difficult days, but then something very strange happened to me, something that could not be explained. Oddly, one morning I woke up happy. All of my worries and my problems had suddenly faded away, disappeared out of my mind. I didn't know how to explain this phenomenon; everything was so perfect, after so much time I felt reborn. It was a beautiful day, the sun shone in the sky and I immediately ran into the garden that for days had been the place of my desperation. I had never seen anything so beautiful. I saw everything through different eyes and I found peace.
My beautiful reflections were interrupted by the presence of a young man that could not have more than twenty-seven years old. He wore fisherman clothes though he was not fishing; he was observing the blue sky, sitting in the green lawn of an house near my cottage. I had never seen him before and I knew that nobody lived there during that time of the year. He turned to me, and when he realized that I was looking at him, he waved at me. When I responded, I was astonished when he immediately started quickly to walk in my direction.
"Hi!" - he said, smiling when he was close to me, "How are you? "
I said that everything was alright and when I asked the same question he interrupted me saying: "Don't you see how much beauty is here? It seems like heaven. It is so hard to believe that before I detested it. I worked here; I was a fisherman, but now I live here I see this place through different eyes.".
I was spellbound by his words. He was describing exactly what I was feeling. It almost seemed that the place had something magic; everything had changed.
“When did you arrive here? This morning?” I asked him.
“Me? No, I've stayed by this lake a long time."
I was surprised: ” I have never seen you before!”
“I know…” he answered with a smile.
We stayed the whole day chatting, the hours passed happily and I talked about myself and about the reasons that made me need to isolate myself in that earthly paradise and how suddenly everything changed in me. His company was very pleasant, even thought he didn't speak a lot about himself. It seemed as though the lake was his only reality. The following day passed in the same way. In the evening, while I was preparing myself to watch the amazing sunset on the lake, the telephone rang. Who could it be, I wondered. It had been a long time since my arrival at the lake and nobody had ever tried to contact me. I answered and on the other side of the telephone, I heard her voice. "Hello?!", it was Sarah, my friend had called to see how I was.
"Hi Sarah!" I answered happy, "How are you?", but she kept on repeating ‘hello’ and to say that she couldn't hear me. Eventually I had to hang up, but it made me feel a little sad, because I really wished to talk with her.
The following day, the scene repeated itself at various times and I noted that her voice was becoming more anxious and worried. I was concerned for her so I tried to phone her back, but that only worsened the situation. I thought a lot about this and I wondered what Sarah could think. I didn't want to make her stress. The next day I waited for her phone call, but it never came. I was asking myself why she had not called yet when I heard the house door opening downstairs. I leaned out from the staircase and I saw her…Sarah; she came to visit me.
"Hi Sarah! ", I shouted happily, but she didn't hear me, and she started to wander around the rooms in sorrowful way.
"Hey Sarah! " I repeated but I got no response from her. She moved in a nervous way, and when she went down the staircases to go in the basement I heard a cry of terror!
"What's happened to you? " I howled, frightened.
I ran toward the basement and she was there, on the steps, paralyzed, immovable, trembling... When Sarah fell down crying and stammerring, Why have you done it?!, I finally saw what had shocked her. I saw it, but I couldn’t understand immediately … Why my lifeless body was there?
Reply:cheater. =)
Reply:Well I started to read it then realised that I was fast running out of life so I gave up.
Reply:Yes. I absolutely can. Can you?
Reply:Only if you pay me :-)
Reply:its a msg or a notice ??
Reply:i prefer to die
Reply:Sorry far too long...........my lifeless body would still be here to.
Reply:Please don't give up your day job in the hope of becoming a writer.
On a positive note, without having read every word, your spelling looks pretty good. Believe me, that is a real plus!
Reply:I would really like to help you but your text is far too long. The spelling is pretty good but there are a host of grammatical errors. Good luck anyway. x
Reply:I guess...its your writing and its ur homework,but u are unsure whether there is any wrong word or sentense,right?
I was passing a really ugly period of my life, now to live seemed to me useless, what had happened to me in the last times was for me something unbearable, ugly, it was destroying me. All the people near to me were worried for my health: I didn't go out, I didn't eat and I was in a perennial confusional condition.
To try to improve my situation my best friend proposed me to make a vacation lodging for a week in her vacations house, a delicious cottage placed near a lake, in an isolated and completely uninhabited zone during that period of the year. I accepted only for doing her happy, honestly I didn't see anything of profit.
Of the first days I don't almost remember anything... I was touching the apex of my desperation, the only things that I remember were that I often stopped watching the lake, sitting on a bench situated in the garden of the residence, observing what surrounded me, reflecting on the cruelty of the life shedding litres of tears. They have been ugly and difficult days, but suddenly something very strange happened to me, something that could not be explained. A morning, in fact, I oddly woke up happy, all of my worries and my problems were suddenly faded away, disappeared out of my mind. I didn't succeed to explain this phenomenon; everything was so perfect, after so much time I felt reborn. It was a very beautiful day, the sun shone in the sky and I immediately ran in that garden that for days was the place of my desperation. I had never seen anything so beautiful, I saw everything with different eyes, I found the peace.
My beautiful reflections been interrupted by the presence of a young man that could not have more than twenty-seven years. He wore fisherman clothes, but he was not fishing, he was observing the blue sky sitting in the green lawn of an house near my cottage. I had never seen him before, additionally I knew that nobody lived those zones during that period of the year. He turned to me and, when he realized that I was looking at him, he made me a sign with his arm, and I responded to the waving. He immediately came to me astonished, and he started quickly to walk in my direction.
"Hi! - he told me smiling when he was close to me - How are you? ".
I said that everything was alright and when I asked the same question he interrupted me saying: "Don't you see how much beautiful is here? It seems like an heaven, it is so hard to believe that before I detested it. I worked here, I was a fisherman, but now I live here, and I see this place with different eyes.". I was spellbound for his words, he was describing what I was feeling. It almost seemed that the place had something magic, everything was changed.
“When have you arrived here? This morning?”, I asked him, “Me? No, it’s a long time that I don't move from this lake.”. I was surprised: ” I have never seen you before!.”
“I know it yet…” he answered me with a smile.
We stayed the whole day chatting, the hours passed happily and I talked about myself, and about the reasons that make me need to isolate myself in that earthly paradise and how suddenly everything changed in me. His company was very pleasant, even thought he didn't speak a lot about himself; it seemed like if that lake was his only reality. The following day passed in the same way. In the evening, while I was preparing me to assist to the amazing sunset on the lake, the telephone rang. Who could he be? By now it was a long time that I was there, and nobody had ever looked for me. I answered and on the other side of the telephone I heard her voice: ?Hello?!. it was her, Sarah, my friend that wanted to know how I was. ?Hi Sarah! -I answered happy – How are you?" , but she kept on repeating ‘hello’ and to say that she didn't hear me. So I had to hang up, but it made me feel a little bit, because I really wished to talk with her. The following day the scene repeated again various times and I noted that her voice became always more anxious and worried. I was sorry for her, I also tried to phone her back, but the thing worsened the situation. I thought a lot about these facts, and I often wondered what Sarah could think, I didn't want to make her stress. The day after I waited for her phone call, but it didn't arrive. I was asking me why she had not called me yet when I heard the house door opening downstairs. I leaned out from the staircases and I saw her… it was Sarah; she came to visit me. "Hi Sarah! " I shouted happily, but she didn't hear me, and she started to wander around the rooms in sorrowful way. "Hey Sara! " I repeated more times, but her… nothing; she moved in a nervous way, but when she went down the staircases to go in the basement I heard a cry of terror! "What is happened to you? " I howled frightened. I ran toward the basement, she was there, on the steps, paralyzed, immovable, trembling... When she fell down crying, I succeeded to see what shocked her. While Sarah stammered "Why have you done it?!" I saw it, but I couldn’t understand immediately … Why my lifeless body was there?
Can anybody correct this text in english?
I like your touching story. Good use of language and an interesting tale make your essay an easy read.
English is such a complex language. A lot of simple expressions use similes to the words you have chosen. Eg. apex of desperation is correct but peak of despair probably would be more common to read. Close friends intimates emotional closeness whilst near friends suggest physical closeness. This is a similar situation with vacation house and holiday house. Vacation and holiday are synonyms but holiday house or home is the expression commonly used. Conversation are usually started in a new paragraph and usually two spaces are inserted after a period (full stop).
I was going through a really ugly period in my life; life seemed pointless. Lately something had happened that was unbearable and I felt as though it was destroying me. All the people closest to me were worried for my health. I didn't go out; I didn't eat and I was was feeling perennially confused.
To try to improve my situation my best friend proposed that I take a week's vacation in her holiday house, a delicious cottage placed near a lake, isolated and completely uninhabited during that time of the year. I accepted only to make her happy. I honestly couldn't see any benefit for me..
For the first days of my stay at Sarah's lake house, I remember hardly anything... I was reaching the peak of my despair. All that I remember is that I often stopped to look at the lake, sitting on a bench situated in the garden, observing my surroundings and reflecting on the cruelty of the life, and shedding litres of tears.
There have been ugly and difficult days, but then something very strange happened to me, something that could not be explained. Oddly, one morning I woke up happy. All of my worries and my problems had suddenly faded away, disappeared out of my mind. I didn't know how to explain this phenomenon; everything was so perfect, after so much time I felt reborn. It was a beautiful day, the sun shone in the sky and I immediately ran into the garden that for days had been the place of my desperation. I had never seen anything so beautiful. I saw everything through different eyes and I found peace.
My beautiful reflections were interrupted by the presence of a young man that could not have more than twenty-seven years old. He wore fisherman clothes though he was not fishing; he was observing the blue sky, sitting in the green lawn of an house near my cottage. I had never seen him before and I knew that nobody lived there during that time of the year. He turned to me, and when he realized that I was looking at him, he waved at me. When I responded, I was astonished when he immediately started quickly to walk in my direction.
"Hi!" - he said, smiling when he was close to me, "How are you? "
I said that everything was alright and when I asked the same question he interrupted me saying: "Don't you see how much beauty is here? It seems like heaven. It is so hard to believe that before I detested it. I worked here; I was a fisherman, but now I live here I see this place through different eyes.".
I was spellbound by his words. He was describing exactly what I was feeling. It almost seemed that the place had something magic; everything had changed.
“When did you arrive here? This morning?” I asked him.
“Me? No, I've stayed by this lake a long time."
I was surprised: ” I have never seen you before!”
“I know…” he answered with a smile.
We stayed the whole day chatting, the hours passed happily and I talked about myself and about the reasons that made me need to isolate myself in that earthly paradise and how suddenly everything changed in me. His company was very pleasant, even thought he didn't speak a lot about himself. It seemed as though the lake was his only reality. The following day passed in the same way. In the evening, while I was preparing myself to watch the amazing sunset on the lake, the telephone rang. Who could it be, I wondered. It had been a long time since my arrival at the lake and nobody had ever tried to contact me. I answered and on the other side of the telephone, I heard her voice. "Hello?!", it was Sarah, my friend had called to see how I was.
"Hi Sarah!" I answered happy, "How are you?", but she kept on repeating ‘hello’ and to say that she couldn't hear me. Eventually I had to hang up, but it made me feel a little sad, because I really wished to talk with her.
The following day, the scene repeated itself at various times and I noted that her voice was becoming more anxious and worried. I was concerned for her so I tried to phone her back, but that only worsened the situation. I thought a lot about this and I wondered what Sarah could think. I didn't want to make her stress. The next day I waited for her phone call, but it never came. I was asking myself why she had not called yet when I heard the house door opening downstairs. I leaned out from the staircase and I saw her…Sarah; she came to visit me.
"Hi Sarah! ", I shouted happily, but she didn't hear me, and she started to wander around the rooms in sorrowful way.
"Hey Sarah! " I repeated but I got no response from her. She moved in a nervous way, and when she went down the staircases to go in the basement I heard a cry of terror!
"What's happened to you? " I howled, frightened.
I ran toward the basement and she was there, on the steps, paralyzed, immovable, trembling... When Sarah fell down crying and stammerring, Why have you done it?!, I finally saw what had shocked her. I saw it, but I couldn’t understand immediately … Why my lifeless body was there?
Reply:cheater. =)
Reply:Well I started to read it then realised that I was fast running out of life so I gave up.
Reply:Yes. I absolutely can. Can you?
Reply:Only if you pay me :-)
Reply:its a msg or a notice ??
Reply:i prefer to die
Reply:Sorry far too long...........my lifeless body would still be here to.
Reply:Please don't give up your day job in the hope of becoming a writer.
On a positive note, without having read every word, your spelling looks pretty good. Believe me, that is a real plus!
Reply:I would really like to help you but your text is far too long. The spelling is pretty good but there are a host of grammatical errors. Good luck anyway. x
Reply:I guess...its your writing and its ur homework,but u are unsure whether there is any wrong word or sentense,right?
Symptoms of being over 25?
1. You leave clubs before the end to "beat the rush".
2. You get more excited about having a roast on a Sunday than going clubbing.
3. You stop dreaming of becoming a professional footballer and start dreaming of having a son who might instead.
4. Before throwing the local paper away, you look through the property section.
5. You prefer Later with Jools Holland to Top of the Pops.
6. All of a sudden, Tony Blair is not 46, he's only 46.
7. Before going out anywhere, you ask what the parking is like.
8. Rather than throw a knackered pair of trainers out, you keep them because they'll be all right for the garden.
9. You buy your first ever T-shirt without anything written on it.
10. Instead of laughing at the innovations catalogue that falls out of the newspaper, you suddenly see both the benefit and money saving properties of a plastic winter cover for your garden bench and an electronic mole repellent for the lawn. Not to mention the plastic man for the car to determine would-be thieves.
11. Sure, you have more disposable income, but everything you want to buy costs between 200 and 500 quid.
12. Pop music all starts to sound crap.
13. You opt for Pizza Express over Pizza Hut because they don't have any pictures on the menus and anyway, they do a really nice half-bottle of house white.
14. You become powerless to resist the lure of self-assembly furniture.
15. You always have enough milk in.
16. To compensate for the fact that you have little desire to go
clubbing, you instead frequent really loud tapas restaurants and franchise pubs with wacky names in the mistaken belief that you have not turned into your parents.
17. While flicking through the TV channels, you happen upon C4's Time Team with Tony Robinson. You get drawn in.
18. The benefits of a pension scheme become clear.
19. You go out of your way to pick up a colour chart from B%26amp;Q.
20. You wish you had a shed.
21. You have a shed.
22. You actually find yourself saying "They don't make 'em like that
anymore" and "I remember when there were only 3 TV channels" and "Of course, in my day...."
23. Radio 2 play more songs you know than Radio 1 - and Jimmy Young has some really interesting guests on.
24. Instead of tutting at old people who take ages to get off the bus,
you tut at schoolchildren whose diction is poor.
25. When sitting outside a pub you become envious of their hanging
baskets.
26. You make an effort to be in and out of the curry house by 11.
27. You come face to face with your own mortality for the first time, and the indestructibility of the 20s gives way to a realisation that you are but passing through this life and if you don't settle down soon and have kids you'll have no-one to look after you when you're old and frail and incontinent and you can't go on p**sing your life up against a wall forever and think of how many brain cells you're destroying every time a swift half turns into 10 pints, and look at that, a full set of stainless steel
saucepans for 99 quid, they cost as much as 35 each if you buy them
separately, and you get a milk pan thrown in, ...
28. You find yourself saying "is it cold in here or is it just me?"
Symptoms of being over 25?
hahahaha!!!
excellent lol
thanks for sharing.
Reply:Did you say 25 .....or 55 ?
So jaded at 25 ....hell , what's becoming of the youth today ?
Reply:And your point is?
Reply:LOL I'm 25 and I thought your list was hilarious. I find myself doing alot of those things!!
Reply:Ha ha ha.!!!
I'm 44 and it's true Nick.!!!
10/10 man.!!!
Cheers and ignore the sour comments.!!
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Reply:Seems like a nice list from what I've read so far but I can't be arsed reading the rest atm, maybe when I'm 25. :)
Reply:Clever little prick! Wait 'til your seventy, you won't find it so funny!!
Reply:Nice list I only read like half of it tho.... maybe when im 25 ill have the attenion span for it...
Reply:yea really what is your point
Reply:I have to agree with all but a couple. I'm 24, 25 in June, and I am almost... ALMOST... like that. I haven't listened to TOTP for above 5 years, and before KT Tunstall's album Drastic Fantastic, the last music I bought was Catatonia's Greatest Hits. I still enjoy it too! Sad git, I hear you say.
Reply:LOL
Reply:Why do English boys start out sooo cute, and then get all craggy and old looking after 25?
Reply:brilliant.
lancome
2. You get more excited about having a roast on a Sunday than going clubbing.
3. You stop dreaming of becoming a professional footballer and start dreaming of having a son who might instead.
4. Before throwing the local paper away, you look through the property section.
5. You prefer Later with Jools Holland to Top of the Pops.
6. All of a sudden, Tony Blair is not 46, he's only 46.
7. Before going out anywhere, you ask what the parking is like.
8. Rather than throw a knackered pair of trainers out, you keep them because they'll be all right for the garden.
9. You buy your first ever T-shirt without anything written on it.
10. Instead of laughing at the innovations catalogue that falls out of the newspaper, you suddenly see both the benefit and money saving properties of a plastic winter cover for your garden bench and an electronic mole repellent for the lawn. Not to mention the plastic man for the car to determine would-be thieves.
11. Sure, you have more disposable income, but everything you want to buy costs between 200 and 500 quid.
12. Pop music all starts to sound crap.
13. You opt for Pizza Express over Pizza Hut because they don't have any pictures on the menus and anyway, they do a really nice half-bottle of house white.
14. You become powerless to resist the lure of self-assembly furniture.
15. You always have enough milk in.
16. To compensate for the fact that you have little desire to go
clubbing, you instead frequent really loud tapas restaurants and franchise pubs with wacky names in the mistaken belief that you have not turned into your parents.
17. While flicking through the TV channels, you happen upon C4's Time Team with Tony Robinson. You get drawn in.
18. The benefits of a pension scheme become clear.
19. You go out of your way to pick up a colour chart from B%26amp;Q.
20. You wish you had a shed.
21. You have a shed.
22. You actually find yourself saying "They don't make 'em like that
anymore" and "I remember when there were only 3 TV channels" and "Of course, in my day...."
23. Radio 2 play more songs you know than Radio 1 - and Jimmy Young has some really interesting guests on.
24. Instead of tutting at old people who take ages to get off the bus,
you tut at schoolchildren whose diction is poor.
25. When sitting outside a pub you become envious of their hanging
baskets.
26. You make an effort to be in and out of the curry house by 11.
27. You come face to face with your own mortality for the first time, and the indestructibility of the 20s gives way to a realisation that you are but passing through this life and if you don't settle down soon and have kids you'll have no-one to look after you when you're old and frail and incontinent and you can't go on p**sing your life up against a wall forever and think of how many brain cells you're destroying every time a swift half turns into 10 pints, and look at that, a full set of stainless steel
saucepans for 99 quid, they cost as much as 35 each if you buy them
separately, and you get a milk pan thrown in, ...
28. You find yourself saying "is it cold in here or is it just me?"
Symptoms of being over 25?
hahahaha!!!
excellent lol
thanks for sharing.
Reply:Did you say 25 .....or 55 ?
So jaded at 25 ....hell , what's becoming of the youth today ?
Reply:And your point is?
Reply:LOL I'm 25 and I thought your list was hilarious. I find myself doing alot of those things!!
Reply:Ha ha ha.!!!
I'm 44 and it's true Nick.!!!
10/10 man.!!!
Cheers and ignore the sour comments.!!
Reply:cut and paste - Add to basket to check availability in your area
Unavailable to Reserve%26amp;Collect
Currys Price ￡69.95
Standard Delivery ￡22.95
Add MATSUI MTT507WW WHITE Fridge to your basketBack
Ideal for students, small apartments and those requiring a little extra storage
Capacity - 55 Litres
Energy Rating - A
Shelves - Wire shelf
ISO Compartment - Yes
Ice Compartment - Yes
View more product info
Reply:Seems like a nice list from what I've read so far but I can't be arsed reading the rest atm, maybe when I'm 25. :)
Reply:Clever little prick! Wait 'til your seventy, you won't find it so funny!!
Reply:Nice list I only read like half of it tho.... maybe when im 25 ill have the attenion span for it...
Reply:yea really what is your point
Reply:I have to agree with all but a couple. I'm 24, 25 in June, and I am almost... ALMOST... like that. I haven't listened to TOTP for above 5 years, and before KT Tunstall's album Drastic Fantastic, the last music I bought was Catatonia's Greatest Hits. I still enjoy it too! Sad git, I hear you say.
Reply:LOL
Reply:Why do English boys start out sooo cute, and then get all craggy and old looking after 25?
Reply:brilliant.
For the over 25's!?
%26gt;SYMPTOMS OF BEING OVER 25
%26gt;
%26gt;1. You leave clubs before the end to "beat the rush".
%26gt;
%26gt;2. You get more excited about having a roast on a Sunday than going
%26gt;clubbing the night before.
%26gt;
%26gt;3. You stop dreaming of becoming a professional footballer and start
%26gt;dreaming of having a son who might instead.
%26gt;
%26gt;4. Before throwing the local paper away, you look through the property
%26gt;section.
%26gt;
%26gt;5. All of a sudden, middle aged people are not 46, they are only 46.
%26gt;
%26gt;6. Before going out anywhere, you ask whether there is anywhere to park.
%26gt;
%26gt;7. Rather than throw a knackered pair of trainers out, you keep them
%26gt;because they'll be alright for the DIY or in the garden.
%26gt;
%26gt;8. You buy T-shirts without anything written on them.
%26gt;
%26gt;9. Instead of laughing at the innovations catalogue that falls out of
%26gt;the newspaper, you suddenly see both the benefit and money saving
%26gt;Properties of most of the things that are in it.
%26gt;
%26gt;10. You start to worry about your parents' health.
%26gt;
%26gt;11. You have more disposable income, but everything you want or need to
%26gt;buy costs between 200 and 500 quid.
%26gt;
%26gt;12. You don't get funny looks when you buy a Disney video or a Wallace
%26gt;And Gromit bubble bath, as the sales assistant assumes they are for your
%26gt;children.
%26gt;
%26gt;13. Pop music all starts to sound the same.
%26gt;
%26gt;14. You opt for Pizza Express over Pizza Hut because they do a really
%26gt;nice half-bottle of house red.
%26gt;
%26gt;15. You always have enough milk in.
%26gt;
%26gt;16. To compensate for the fact that you have little desire to go
%26gt;clubbing, you instead frequent trendy bars and restaurants in the
%26gt;mistaken belief that you have not turned into your parents.
%26gt;
%26gt;17. While flicking through the TV channels, you happen upon C4's Time
%26gt;Team with Tony Robinson. You get drawn in.
%26gt;
%26gt;18. The benefits of a pension scheme become clear.
%26gt;
%26gt;19. You go out of your way to pick up a colour chart from B%26amp;Q.
%26gt;
%26gt;20. You wish you had a shed.
%26gt;
%26gt;21. You have a shed.
%26gt;
%26gt;22. You actually find yourself saying "They don't make 'em like that
%26gt;anymore" and "I remember when there were only 4 TV channels" and "Not in
%26gt;my day...."
%26gt;
%26gt;23. Radio 2 play more songs you know than Radio 1 - and Jeremy Vine has
%26gt;some really interesting guests on.
%26gt;
%26gt;24. Instead of tutting at old people who take ages to get off the
%26gt;bus,You tut at rowdy school children.
%26gt;
%26gt;25. When sitting outside a pub you admire their hanging baskets.
%26gt;
%26gt;26.You find yourself saying "is it cold in here or is it just me
%26gt;
%26gt;27. Having a constant supply of 1st class stamps in your wallet - for
%26gt;"just incase"
For the over 25's!?
Oh my god!! You have scared the sh#t out of me!!! Kinda knew somewhere in the back of my mind that I was 28 but never really admitted it to myself until I read this!!!!!
What have you done to me??!!
This should be reported purely for the tragic effect it is having on all those in their late 20's!!!!!!!!
(but it's still funny!)
Reply:No no no no no.........not for this girl!!!!...I'm still a young 30!!!
Reply:You only have to know "Ruby, Ruby,Ruby" to know Radio 1's entire output. I hate people who take ages to get off the bus and at supermarket queues and I'm only a 52 year old shed owner.
Reply:Some of them are true some of them depend on the personality of the person!
Reply:i'm 31 next week and some are true!!!
Reply:Oh Noooooo
its so true
Reply:Have we met?
Reply:28. You look in the mirror !
Reply:Pretty good dude. Some of it made me laugh.
Reply:really good....
more than a few apply here.
Reply:ohhh now I know that I'm getting old, I agree with most of these statements.
Reply:symtomes shd be 25 it's gud but no one will read it
Reply:Cute :)
Reply:OMG i feel so old now
im going to go hide under my covers lol.x
Reply:If you think 25+ is bad,,,enjoy it while you can!
This is for the 50+
The Cat In The Hat On Aging,
I cannot See
I cannot Pee
I cannot Chew
I cannot Screw
Oh my God, What can I Do?
My Memory Shrinks
My Hearing Stinks
No Sense of Smell
I Look Like Hell
My Mood is Bad, Can You Tell?
My Body's Drooping
I Have Trouble Pooping!
The Golden Years Have Come At Last,
The Golden Years Can Kiss My A ss!
Reply:Lol...i'll be 27 this year (god willing) this made me laugh as i can relate to some of it. But i think its called growing up and being mature and not "symptoms"..i enjoyed it though..thanks for the laugh!
Reply:I'm 22 is this really what i have to look forward to?
Reply:OMG i'm 24 tomorrow and do a lot of these things!!!!
Reply:I laughed so much hun I cried.... so so true... and embarssing to admit too lol lol
shoe labels
%26gt;
%26gt;1. You leave clubs before the end to "beat the rush".
%26gt;
%26gt;2. You get more excited about having a roast on a Sunday than going
%26gt;clubbing the night before.
%26gt;
%26gt;3. You stop dreaming of becoming a professional footballer and start
%26gt;dreaming of having a son who might instead.
%26gt;
%26gt;4. Before throwing the local paper away, you look through the property
%26gt;section.
%26gt;
%26gt;5. All of a sudden, middle aged people are not 46, they are only 46.
%26gt;
%26gt;6. Before going out anywhere, you ask whether there is anywhere to park.
%26gt;
%26gt;7. Rather than throw a knackered pair of trainers out, you keep them
%26gt;because they'll be alright for the DIY or in the garden.
%26gt;
%26gt;8. You buy T-shirts without anything written on them.
%26gt;
%26gt;9. Instead of laughing at the innovations catalogue that falls out of
%26gt;the newspaper, you suddenly see both the benefit and money saving
%26gt;Properties of most of the things that are in it.
%26gt;
%26gt;10. You start to worry about your parents' health.
%26gt;
%26gt;11. You have more disposable income, but everything you want or need to
%26gt;buy costs between 200 and 500 quid.
%26gt;
%26gt;12. You don't get funny looks when you buy a Disney video or a Wallace
%26gt;And Gromit bubble bath, as the sales assistant assumes they are for your
%26gt;children.
%26gt;
%26gt;13. Pop music all starts to sound the same.
%26gt;
%26gt;14. You opt for Pizza Express over Pizza Hut because they do a really
%26gt;nice half-bottle of house red.
%26gt;
%26gt;15. You always have enough milk in.
%26gt;
%26gt;16. To compensate for the fact that you have little desire to go
%26gt;clubbing, you instead frequent trendy bars and restaurants in the
%26gt;mistaken belief that you have not turned into your parents.
%26gt;
%26gt;17. While flicking through the TV channels, you happen upon C4's Time
%26gt;Team with Tony Robinson. You get drawn in.
%26gt;
%26gt;18. The benefits of a pension scheme become clear.
%26gt;
%26gt;19. You go out of your way to pick up a colour chart from B%26amp;Q.
%26gt;
%26gt;20. You wish you had a shed.
%26gt;
%26gt;21. You have a shed.
%26gt;
%26gt;22. You actually find yourself saying "They don't make 'em like that
%26gt;anymore" and "I remember when there were only 4 TV channels" and "Not in
%26gt;my day...."
%26gt;
%26gt;23. Radio 2 play more songs you know than Radio 1 - and Jeremy Vine has
%26gt;some really interesting guests on.
%26gt;
%26gt;24. Instead of tutting at old people who take ages to get off the
%26gt;bus,You tut at rowdy school children.
%26gt;
%26gt;25. When sitting outside a pub you admire their hanging baskets.
%26gt;
%26gt;26.You find yourself saying "is it cold in here or is it just me
%26gt;
%26gt;27. Having a constant supply of 1st class stamps in your wallet - for
%26gt;"just incase"
For the over 25's!?
Oh my god!! You have scared the sh#t out of me!!! Kinda knew somewhere in the back of my mind that I was 28 but never really admitted it to myself until I read this!!!!!
What have you done to me??!!
This should be reported purely for the tragic effect it is having on all those in their late 20's!!!!!!!!
(but it's still funny!)
Reply:No no no no no.........not for this girl!!!!...I'm still a young 30!!!
Reply:You only have to know "Ruby, Ruby,Ruby" to know Radio 1's entire output. I hate people who take ages to get off the bus and at supermarket queues and I'm only a 52 year old shed owner.
Reply:Some of them are true some of them depend on the personality of the person!
Reply:i'm 31 next week and some are true!!!
Reply:Oh Noooooo
its so true
Reply:Have we met?
Reply:28. You look in the mirror !
Reply:Pretty good dude. Some of it made me laugh.
Reply:really good....
more than a few apply here.
Reply:ohhh now I know that I'm getting old, I agree with most of these statements.
Reply:symtomes shd be 25 it's gud but no one will read it
Reply:Cute :)
Reply:OMG i feel so old now
im going to go hide under my covers lol.x
Reply:If you think 25+ is bad,,,enjoy it while you can!
This is for the 50+
The Cat In The Hat On Aging,
I cannot See
I cannot Pee
I cannot Chew
I cannot Screw
Oh my God, What can I Do?
My Memory Shrinks
My Hearing Stinks
No Sense of Smell
I Look Like Hell
My Mood is Bad, Can You Tell?
My Body's Drooping
I Have Trouble Pooping!
The Golden Years Have Come At Last,
The Golden Years Can Kiss My A ss!
Reply:Lol...i'll be 27 this year (god willing) this made me laugh as i can relate to some of it. But i think its called growing up and being mature and not "symptoms"..i enjoyed it though..thanks for the laugh!
Reply:I'm 22 is this really what i have to look forward to?
Reply:OMG i'm 24 tomorrow and do a lot of these things!!!!
Reply:I laughed so much hun I cried.... so so true... and embarssing to admit too lol lol
shoe labels
Giving your cat or dog a pill? it"s long but it"s a cracker??
1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As the cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and vigorously rub cat's throat.
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make a note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9) Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of your last tetanus jab. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve the friggin' cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13) Tie the little @#!*#^~!'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table, find heavy duty Pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15) Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
DOG: Wrap pill in bacon, cheese or peanut butter. Make him beg.
Giving your cat or dog a pill? it"s long but it"s a cracker??
Ha ha ha.!!!
Excellent one there No8.!!!
Sounds familiar, lol.!!!
10/10.!!!
Cheers Lady.!!!
Reply:Thank you. Report Abuse
Reply:PURRRRRRRFECT JOKE, you"ve done it again no8, star!!
Reply:it's an oldie that one but it still made me laugh thanks - have a star
Reply:worth the wait, funny and very true! : )
Reply:Great isn't it? I sent this to friends to help them get accustomed to having a kitten. Great fun
Reply:brilliant,10 over 10 and a star!
Reply:VERY long but well wotrh it, STAR
Reply:Lol that was ssoo very funny,I don't have a cat but I can just imagine the scene,my little dog a Yorkie is just as bad that's why I rather take him to the vet to spare me all them injuries,here have a star.xxxxxxxx
Reply:That's just like my cat %26amp; dog, lol!
Reply:yes its funny
Reply:okay......thanks for the advice, I guess. A star.
Reply:Love this joke. :)
Seen it before.
Reply:that takes the biscuit that one,superb!!!
2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and vigorously rub cat's throat.
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make a note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9) Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of your last tetanus jab. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve the friggin' cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13) Tie the little @#!*#^~!'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table, find heavy duty Pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15) Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
DOG: Wrap pill in bacon, cheese or peanut butter. Make him beg.
Giving your cat or dog a pill? it"s long but it"s a cracker??
Ha ha ha.!!!
Excellent one there No8.!!!
Sounds familiar, lol.!!!
10/10.!!!
Cheers Lady.!!!
Reply:Thank you. Report Abuse
Reply:PURRRRRRRFECT JOKE, you"ve done it again no8, star!!
Reply:it's an oldie that one but it still made me laugh thanks - have a star
Reply:worth the wait, funny and very true! : )
Reply:Great isn't it? I sent this to friends to help them get accustomed to having a kitten. Great fun
Reply:brilliant,10 over 10 and a star!
Reply:VERY long but well wotrh it, STAR
Reply:Lol that was ssoo very funny,I don't have a cat but I can just imagine the scene,my little dog a Yorkie is just as bad that's why I rather take him to the vet to spare me all them injuries,here have a star.xxxxxxxx
Reply:That's just like my cat %26amp; dog, lol!
Reply:yes its funny
Reply:okay......thanks for the advice, I guess. A star.
Reply:Love this joke. :)
Seen it before.
Reply:that takes the biscuit that one,superb!!!
Giving your cat or dog a pill? it"s long but it"s a cracker??
1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As the cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and vigorously rub cat's throat.
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make a note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9) Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of your last tetanus jab. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve the friggin' cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13) Tie the little @#!*#^~!'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table, find heavy duty Pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15) Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
DOG: Wrap pill in bacon, cheese or peanut butter. Make him beg.
Giving your cat or dog a pill? it"s long but it"s a cracker??
That's funny. Thanks for the laugh. giving you a well earned star!!
Reply:luv it ta!! Report Abuse
Reply:I know cats ! Crush the pill ina gladlock bag, disguise in food. or hold cat, put towl over it's eye, open the mouth, the gently throw pill at back of throat, close it's moutht so it doesnt spit it out,then while hiolding mouth tickle its adam's apple, stimilate the reflex to swallow. Report Abuse
Reply:funny all the way!!lol.
Reply:LMAO! True...
Reply:WOW!l.o.l.
Reply:yer rite! its a cracker.meowwwww!
Reply:Hilarious!!!! Star for you!!
Reply:Funny but true! lol! 100!
Reply:brilliant!*
Reply:That is hysterical!
Reply:LMAO That's brilliant *STAR* 15 is mint
Reply:that must be the best joke on here for yonks,very funny,thanks for that..
Reply:well worth the wait it made me smile thanks for sharing
Reply:lol
Reply:hahahaha!!!
excellent lol
thanks for the laugh.
Reply:I can identify with this
Reply:That was long,,,but worth it ha ha ha v good,,,
Reply:you have done it again our kidda!!keep em rocking!
Reply:absolutely hilarious!!a whopper of a star for you!!
Reply:LMAO!
2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and vigorously rub cat's throat.
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make a note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9) Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of your last tetanus jab. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve the friggin' cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13) Tie the little @#!*#^~!'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table, find heavy duty Pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15) Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
DOG: Wrap pill in bacon, cheese or peanut butter. Make him beg.
Giving your cat or dog a pill? it"s long but it"s a cracker??
That's funny. Thanks for the laugh. giving you a well earned star!!
Reply:luv it ta!! Report Abuse
Reply:I know cats ! Crush the pill ina gladlock bag, disguise in food. or hold cat, put towl over it's eye, open the mouth, the gently throw pill at back of throat, close it's moutht so it doesnt spit it out,then while hiolding mouth tickle its adam's apple, stimilate the reflex to swallow. Report Abuse
Reply:funny all the way!!lol.
Reply:LMAO! True...
Reply:WOW!l.o.l.
Reply:yer rite! its a cracker.meowwwww!
Reply:Hilarious!!!! Star for you!!
Reply:Funny but true! lol! 100!
Reply:brilliant!*
Reply:That is hysterical!
Reply:LMAO That's brilliant *STAR* 15 is mint
Reply:that must be the best joke on here for yonks,very funny,thanks for that..
Reply:well worth the wait it made me smile thanks for sharing
Reply:lol
Reply:hahahaha!!!
excellent lol
thanks for the laugh.
Reply:I can identify with this
Reply:That was long,,,but worth it ha ha ha v good,,,
Reply:you have done it again our kidda!!keep em rocking!
Reply:absolutely hilarious!!a whopper of a star for you!!
Reply:LMAO!
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