Do you know how to give a cat & dog a pill?

Subject:* How to Give a Cat a Pill (%26amp; Dog)



1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding

a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's

mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right

hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth

and swallow.





2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left

arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.



4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear

paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of

mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.



5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe.

Call spouse from garden.



6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees. Hold front and

rear paws . Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head

firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill

down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.



7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail. Get another pill from foil wrap.

Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep

shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing

later.



8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head

just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force

mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.



9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans. Drink 1 beer to

take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove

blood from carpet with cold water and soap.



10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another

beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on to neck, to leave head

showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat

with elastic band.



11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on

hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold

compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply

whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot.

Throw tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.



12. Call fire department to retrieve the dang cat from across the

road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to

avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.



13. Tie the little devil's front paws to rear paws with garden twine

and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from

shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be

rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down

throat to wash pill down.



14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the

emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm

and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way

home to order new table.



How To Give A Dog A Pill



1. Wrap it in bacon.



2. Toss it in the air.

Do you know how to give a cat %26amp; dog a pill?
I want to be your agent and get you gigs at comedy clubs. Seriously!
Reply:I have a cat %26amp; a dog now! Have always had animals. Have had to give pills to a lot of them. This was just too funny. Thanks and thank your friend. Report Abuse
Reply:Ha ha that's funny...well you can buy this thingy at the store that you simply put the pill in and stick it in the back of their throat. Otherwise open their mouth, using your finger gently push the pill to the back of their throat.
Reply:Thanks for the humorous start to my day. That was neat. I still like cats though. But, they are "independent" creatures! The "trick" is---after you get the pill into their mouth, you blow into their face.
Reply:That is funny , but so true. Usually, dogs are a lot easier to give a pill to than cats! Thanks!
Reply:LOL!!! Funny! Thanks for the laugh of the day.
Reply:I've read this before- and it's so true! I'd rather pill 100 dogs in one day than have to pill one cat.
Reply:this is a scream
Reply:Hilarious, Wiz, and so true! When I wrap Jedi's pill in bacon, she snatches it....eats the bacon and spits out the pill. So I have to use the "cat procedure," get an armhold around her neck and try to pry her mouth open. Jedi's jaws are made of steel. It takes a tremendous amount of strength to pry her mouth open and pop in the pill. Then, if you don't toss it down her gullet far enough, she simply spits it out, so my floor is littered with half dissolved, gummy pills.



I shall save your hysterical description of medicating a cat and send it to friends. We're an army of cat and doglovers around here and always need a good laugh! Thanks!
Reply:I give my cat her thyroid meds two times a day, I just sit her down, open her mouth from the back of the jaw and put it at the back of her throat. And I give my dog his pills with peanut butter. Stick the pill in it and waalaa, he eats the peanut butter and the pill and never even knew he got the pill
Reply:Lol, yes - it's called the cat rodeo !

Actually the pill giving syringe is quite good although you still need an unsuspecting helper with a thick towel to hold the cat down. Note- it has to be a thick towel as an irate cat can shred cloth in a microsecond.

Also I do have one that managed to bite the end off the pill giver, shred a dressing gown, claw the holder in the face with some airborne ninja kick run halfway down the garden and THEN spit out the end of the syringe and pill.

Took 3 days to get near that cat again and my assistant quit.
Reply:ha ha i went through something very similar the other day, i've got scratches everywhere...and then after i thought i finally won, the darn cat vomited it all up on the floor....i'm getting an injection next time.
Reply:I had a time giving my elderly German Shepherd meds. I mixed them in peanut butter, wrapped them in cheese,, stuck them in between chichen and so on and so on. He got 3/4 of the med he was supposed to have and i gave up. I decided, maybe he knew something I didnt.