What are grown men supposed to act like? Do they play video games?

I am getting frustrated thinking that my husband is immature. When I think of a 'real man' I think in the shed in the garden etc. I am wondering if the reason my husband is on his damn computer all day is because he is 23 and this new generation of 'men' just tend to do that? I feel like screaming "My God man! Just fix something!!!"

What are grown men supposed to act like? Do they play video games?
Hubby and I both play video games - and if you want something fixed, do it yourself.
Reply:Clearly the issue here is the Generational Gap.





You appear to be modeling your expectations of your husband based upon what you saw growing up with your Father and Grand Father.





Back when your Grand Father, and most likely even your Father were growing up, they didn't have "Video Games". If video games did exist when your father was younger, they probably weren't as "Main Stream" or readily available as they are today. Also, even if your Father did have access to video games, it almost certainly wasn't when he was a child.





Instead they did things like play cards (i.e. Poker, Canasta, Hearts, Spades, etc). They might have also played Chess, Checkers, or Backgammon.





So if you fast forward to the Present, instead of a group of guys getting together for a "Poker Night", they're probably getting together for "Lan Parties" (although those are going the way of "old school" now-a-days) especially with being able to go On-Line with XBOX Live or the PS3.





Things have changed culturally for women too. Whereas 40 or 50 years ago women might have gotten together in a "sewing circle" or to "trade recipes", they're now getting together On-Line to ask questions on Yahoo! Answers.





Instead of tending to the children or the animals on the farm and making/repairing clothing, women are holding down jobs, putting their children in daycare, and going shopping (because we've turned into a Consumer Driven Society).





Instead of getting to know your neighbors and sitting around the hearth telling stories, people are now eating TV Dinners and watching Reality TV.





I don't think that Video Games elude to a man's immaturity any more than shopping or taking the easy way to get dinner on the table, or entertain the family makes the woman any more immature.





I hope this gives you some perspective on this issue.





Good Luck to you.
Reply:Most younger men don't like to do anything besides have fun and look good. Most don't know how to do anything else besides what they did before they met you besides be with other women. Most men look at other men if their dad wasn't around and go off what they see their boys do . My husband is 27 when we were dating he wouldn't even pump the gas. It took years before he pumped the gas .


Even more to bring in groceries, look under the car hood to put oil in that just happen this year. He just refused to do it he has never and i mean never mowed the lawn or raked leaves or washed my car he would rather pay someone before he does it. If he ain't at his boys house in the studio or at the club per say promoting or chilling at one of his homies playing the game. He is not about to lift a hand to do any kind of house work that is considered hard labor to him. Maybe he will come around.Good Luck
Reply:LOL, exactly. I'm not goin to distinguish between a real man and not a real man but this video game thing is the new generation handyman. I mean everybody is doin it. In my opinion if you like a man who plays video games and that's cool with you then good but if you like a man who is handy then find one who is handy. Don't all of a sudden get mad because he's not handy when he wasn't handy to begin with. At this juncture it's time to call someone who fixes things for a living to come fix what needs to be fixed. There is no particular way grown men are supposed to act as long as they are good to you and can provide and be mature when it's time to be mature. Work with what you have and he will work with you. Good luck!
Reply:There's nothing wrong with it as long as he curbs it, I'm 42 and I love video games, but even I've learned to stop, and do something else; or at least reserve it for when I've done everything I need to do. I love doing handy things, outdoorsy things, etc. Video games are an excellent vent, and I'm the biggest 9 year old in the world when it comes to that, but as I said, I've learned to curb it.
Reply:I'm 36 years old and I consider myself a 'real man' - heck, I'm a firefighter. I work hard, love hard, and play hard. And yes, playing hard includes video games. I'm more of an XBOX 360 guy myself.





But like all things, there needs to be limits and priorities. My wife knows that I love to play video games - she knows that I'd rather sit and play 'shoot em up bang bang' online instead of watching television. And likewise I know that she loves to have stuff around the house taken care of before I sit my butt down to play video games.





So yes, nowadays video games are a completely viable form of entertainment for men and women of all ages. But dammit to hell, if things need to be fixed - then fixin' comes BEFORE the entertainin'!!
Reply:Does something need to be fixed? Im 34 and I play video and computer games. The nature of the games and how much time he spends on them is important though. If he's playiong games like Halo and Smash Brothers Brawl and making time for you, YOU need to deal. If he's playing Hannah Montana when he;s not asleep or at work, you got some issues. More than likely youre concerned about the time or the money he spends on it.





If this is your worst problem....
Reply:Real men work hard, and when they're not working they do whatever they want to do.





Real men are sensitive. We appreciate and honor womens' lib. We wouldn't dare interfere with your ability to fix whatever it is that needs fixing. Wouldn't want to make you feel like you couldn't do it, you know.
Reply:I think it's OK as long as it's in moderation. My hubby plays video games when he gets the spare time, but he's usually busy with work or other things around the house. I would be annoyed too if he was sitting on the computer all day, but if it's in moderation then let him be.
Reply:hun I am 42 I play the xbox 360...Just because he plays does not make him immature..why not JOIN IN and stop being a damn prune. SORRY this new generation of men been playing games since the beginning of time...NOW its just not board games or pool





maybe if you stop harping on your man he will do something..OR how about this say HEY baby after you play for a few hours would you mind fixing the so and so..





see how easy THAT was





even people in their 60s are playing..do you know they have the WII gaming system in nursing homes..girl where you been??
Reply:He has you fixed.


I can't see the attraction with video games. You can only beat a computer if it is programmed to let you.
Reply:Luckily its video games and not porn
Reply:my dad plays video games and hes almost 50.


i dont think theres anythink anyone can change that.





you have to love them the way they are i geuss.





xx
Reply:hahaha THEY will always play video games!!





It's just what they do. U cant stop him from doing that.


But i understand it seems immature!!!
Reply:We act just like 10 year old boys, except we can drive cars and get laid more often.
Reply:Two of my three daughters have the same question........must have to do with the new generation
Reply:I ask the same questions to myself about my boyfriend. He comes home from work, sits on the computer, and watches TV. Occasionally he plays FIFA or Madden. Then he falls asleep on the couch. It seems so boring to me and I understand he needs to relax after a day at work but I work full time too and I want to do other things after work besides sit and surf! He is also 23, I am just as curious whether its immaturity or if this is just what he's going to do forever... I figure I'll wait awhile and if it never changes maybe he's not the man for me. As far as fixing something though he's useless! Haha I put everything together, installed the air conditioner, he's just good for lifting because he's strong following directions is not his forte : ) I'm behind you though let's get our men fixing things instead of surfing the net! haha





I'm adding more after reading what all the men posted. Relax! She asked a simple question! Heaven forbid someday you ask why your wife doesn't ever clean. I love video games, I got addicted to Halo 3 and stayed up many nights playing onlive with my guy friends from college until we beat the game. I don't think it's immature to play video games, its just when all you do every day is tv computer and video games it gets kind of old! I like to go out, socialize, go for a walk, and I feel that the ability to balance between all things in life comes with becoming an adult and maturity.
Reply:You're not the only one who's been through this.It's one minor reason my exhusband is my ex.And he was 27 at the time.He's now 35 and still expecting everyone to pick up after him and pay his bills,etc.I'm sick of alot of guys I've encountered,my age no less,playing videogames acting like little boys,slacking at work,etc.That Peter Pan syndrome.Even scarier in a man in his 40's pulling that.Mabe not all guys are like that,but this is huge reason why I won't date men my age,I hate feeling like I'm their mother.So I feel for you there.

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